Ostensible
by Centuries-Past
Summary: "Merlin," Arthur whispered, horrified, "your eyes!" It didn't take Merlin long to realize that his eyes were glowing.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer** : I do not own _Merlin._ Boy, I wish I did.

* * *

It was a simple scouting mission, really. Apparently, there had been an infiltration of numerous bandits in the western border, so naturally they rode out to see if bandits was all it was. It was an ordinary mission, however, Merlin's life had a habit of turning something completely ordinary on its head, leaving him to battle the extraordinary.

He knew there was something off as soon as he felt it. Every step his horse took behind Arthur's, Merlin felt a growing sensation of... _power_. It was like every limb of his body was awakened with an electric, ancient surge of energy. He felt energized and his mind and soul were like an ever expanding stream of consciousness flowing, stretching, and growing with each step. It was as if someone awakened him from a deep sleep- it was completely bizarre!

This inarticulate feeling soon became overwhelming, fast. Merlin tightened his hold on his horse's reins until his knuckles paled. He began panting as result, trying his best maintain a normal facade and to contain whatever it was that was happening to him.

" _Do_ close your mouth, Merlin." Arthur threw a repulsed look over his shoulder. "You'll attract flies."

He clamped down on his bottom lip so hard that Merlin tasted a wet, metallic tang and he knew instantly that he drew blood. The enigmatic, but not completely foreign energy began to inundate every fiber of his being, and apprehension seized his gut. This wasn't good.

A cry escaped from his lips that caused Arthur to draw his horse to an abrupt halt.

"Merlin?"

The rest was out of his complete control.

A wave of magic crashed and consumed him from ground up. Merlin was too occupied by this surge of power to realize that his body had levitated from his saddle.

"Merlin!"

A light brighter than three suns combined exploded from his being. The horses probably neighed in fright, and the knights shouted in trepidation, but Merlin couldn't hear any of this. What he heard instead was a mass of calliopean whispers speaking in the ancient tongue of the old religion.

Arthur must have mounted off of his horse and made his way towards him because he felt a hand coil around his ankle.

Big mistake.

Suddenly, Merlin felt some of the energy course from his being into Arthur's. Amidst the sea of whispers, he heard Arthur's cry which all but stopped his heart, and within a blink of an eye, the light is snuffed out. He and Arthur went from levitating above the earth, to being dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes in a matter of seconds. Merlin wished he could say he had a soft landing, but chain mail wasn't exactly the best cushion you could land on.

Hearts pounding, they both groaned from the sharp fall. Merlin decided to pick himself up off of Arthur before the man grew livid.

"Ow," he softly groaned, still disoriented, and lifted his head off of the hard, metal surface.

Merlin put his hands on the ground on either side of Arthur's head. He made the mistake of groggily gazing up into Arthur's ocean blue eyes.

"Merlin," Arthur whispered, horrified, "your eyes!"

It didn't take Merlin long to realize that his eyes were glowing.

 _No!_

He scrambled away from Arthur as if he were on fire, and his mind raced with a million thoughts of how he could explain this phenomenon.

"A-Arthur I-

The prince held up a hand to silence him. Arthur looked like he had gone into shock, and he probably did. His strong frame was as rigid as stone, his eyes the size of a doe's and glued to a spot two inches away from his feet. Merlin sat there, heart pounding, as he gazed fearfully at his friend for what felt like a thousand eternities.

"You," Arthur finally spoke, in a hushed voice as if the mere thought was ineffable, "have magic."

Merlin's gut did a somersault as his mouth opened to say _something_ , but nothing came out. What could he say? That this was all a figment of his imagination? That they had all been suddenly drugged?

"Arthur I...I.."

"So, it's true," he conceded, and Merlin wanted to die then and there than to witness to the sheer look of disappointment, rage, and disgust in Arthur's eyes. The piercing glare icily stabbed his heart.

"Please," he pleaded,"let me explain."

"What is there to explain, _Mer_ lin? Or is that even your real name?"

"It _is_ my name-

-Or should I call you _Emrys!_ "

He felt his blood run cold.

"H-how d-did you-

"Oh my God!" Arthur shouts exasperatedly, and scrambles to his feet. He tears away from him as if he had the plague. "I can't believe you!"

"Arthur please, l-let me expla-

" _Enough!_ " the young Prince bellowed and the whole forest seemed to quake under his stentorian voice. "You _lied_ to me! You- you-"

"I'm sorry!" He poured all of his remorse and guilt into these two little words.

"Sorry?" He asked, as if Merlin had the audacity to apologize. "You're _sorry?_ "

Arthur stalked closer and with each step he took towards him, Merlin backed away. His luck had run out when he felt the hard spine of a tree's bark dig into his back, and he came face to face with an enraged bull.

Arthur grabbed the front of his shirt, twisted it in his grasp, and pulled him closer so that their faces were inches apart. His breath lodged in his throat when those stormy, ocean blue eyes assailed his own.

"You _betrayed_ me!"

Those words rung in his ears with the promise of hunting him for life. He would rather be cursed with the most horrid and unspeakable spell, than to hear those words from his one true friend. Merlin's heart shattered into a million pieces.

When he opened his mouth , a fist collided with his temple, and he crashed to the ground in pain. The world dipped and greyed, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head, but not before his tears could drop to the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

His head throbbed when he opened his eyes and he groaned in pain. Merlin was surprised that he found himself gazing upon the familiar ceiling of his room and not the grey, cold, damp one in the dungeons.

The memory flooded his senses. The light, the whispers, his eyes, Arthur-

 _Arthur._

" _You betrayed me!"_

He squeezed his eyes shut because the very act of remembering brought him pain. Merlin felt tears well up in his eyes as his fingers caressed his right temple.

"He hit me," he whispered to himself, dazed.

Arthur had never struck him out of anger. Yes, there was the occasional shoving, the all too dreaded target practices, wetting his head with a bucket, but _never_ had Arthur consciously chosen to punch him- let alone knock him unconscious.

His door suddenly opened, which scared the daylights out of him, but he visibly relaxed when he spotted the familiar blue of Gaius's robes. Merlin quickly blinked the tears away.

"Ah, you're awake."

Gaius set his bowl of soup beside his dresser. The spiced scent of the meal assaulted his nose, and Merlin wished he had the strength to tell Gaius that he wasn't hungry and that he wouldn't be for a long time. He could barely stomach the truth of what had just happened let alone something solid.

"How are you feeling?" Gaius asked. He sat beside his legs, bed slightly dipping under his weight, and he gently patted Merlin's knee.

His lips parted to voice another half-hearted _I'm fine,_ but he couldn't bring himself to say it. How many more times would he have to lie? He turned his face away, and swallowed the lump that formed in his throat.

"Arthur knows."

Silence.

"I know."

Merlin foolishly snapped his gaze toward Gaius, which in turn made his head throb even more.

" _What?_ " he hissed in pain. "How?"

Gaius looked down for a moment as if to gather his thoughts.

"Well, it was Arthur who brought you here," the older man explained bluntly.

He wish he could be like Gaius in that aspect. Speak the truth or simply say nothing at all. Heaven knows it would have saved him more time, more lives, if he hadn't been such a damn coward.

His face reddened at thought of Arthur carrying him to his bed, but he doubted it. The man was probably too disgusted with him to even touch him.

"I asked him what had happened," he resumed, "and he told me everything that took place in the forest."

"Gaius, I swear, I didn't willingly perform ma-

"I know, Merlin," he said understandingly. "After we made sure that you were safe in your room and that I had treated you, I sat him down and had a word with him."

His eyebrows shot up. "You had a word with Arthur?"

Gaius blinked. "Yes."

"You actually _sat_ him down?" he asked incredulously. When Arthur was enraged, it was a difficult task to even get him to stand _still_. If he wasn't so crushed, Merlin would have laughed. "What did you tell him?"

"The truth."

He shut his eyes and bowed his head shamefully. He felt a hand warmly cup his shoulder.

"I told Arthur," Gaius said solemnly, "that everything you did, everything you sacrificed, was for the good of Camelot, and for the good of its Prince."

He sighed. "It doesn't matter. He hates me."

His spirit shrinks further at the sudden revelation.

"You must understand, Merlin, that everything Arthur thought he knew-

"Turned out to be a lie?" he spat bitterly.

Gaius raised his brow higher at the interruption. "Everything he thought he knew didn't turn out as he expected."

"Yeah, no kidding," he muttered, and sunk further down into his covers. "I betrayed him." he confessed with self-loathing.

"No, Merlin," Gaius said, and gazed right at his bandaged temple. "He betrayed you."

He felt raw emotion start to claw its way back up his throat again, but Merlin suppressed it.

"Eat your soup," Gaius rose out of his seat and placed a small vial beside the bowl, "then take this. It will soothe your head and it will help you sleep."

Merlin pursed his lips and nodded in thanks. He closed his eyes when he felt a hand gently soothe his bangs back.

"All will be well in time."

For his own sake, Merlin hoped so.

When Gaius shut his door, he only had Arthur's words for company. Tears welled in his eyes once more, and Merlin desired nothing more than to shut it all off. He wished he could silence his cruel mind, the mourning of his heart, and more than anything, he wished he could un-hear those words.

" _You betrayed me!"_

His fingers dug into his messy locks and yanked harshly, hoping the pain would distract him from the mire of his thoughts. Merlin's trembling hands passed the bowl of soup and reached straight for the vial. The trembling had made it difficult to completely down the entire contents of the medicine without wasting a few droplets. When Merlin settled back down, making a face at the bitter taste of the sleeping draught, he wished for a dreamless sleep. Soon, his weary mind succumbed to rest.

:

:

:

When Merlin fatigue-ishly awakened from his nap, his eyes reluctantly scanned the room. When they settled on a blonde figure dressed in expensive red clothing, his heart almost stopped.

"We need to talk." Arthur ordered.


	3. Chapter 3

In case any of you were wondering, this story is set mid season 3 after "The Crystal Cave" -ish I should say. Hope that clarifies everything.

THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING!

* * *

"We need to talk." Arthur ordered.

When Arthur met his gaze, Merlin tore his eyes away. He couldn't bear this! He couldn't bear having the one conversation he dreaded having all his life. He couldn't bear to see the disdain, the disgust, and the betrayal in Arthur's eyes.

Silence draped its pall over the atmosphere of his room, and the tension was so thick that you could have cut it with a knife. What on earth was he supposed to say? So much has happened in his life, so many moments and events were interwoven in such a complex fashion that Merlin didn't even know where to start. His tongue was snared.

It was Arthur who shattered the silence first.

"When did you start practicing magic?"

The accusation felt like acid in his ears. He fiddled with the string of his blanket.

"I was born with magic."

It felt so strange talking about magic with Arthur. _Arthur!_ The man whom he's hidden his power from for so long! It was surreal!

"All this time..." Arthur breathed and scrubbed a hand over his face.

There was no use prolonging the process. It was evident to him that Arthur would eventually wash his hands of him completely. At least now they'd both get some answers, and Merlin can convince him otherwise.

"I-in," Merlin cleared his throat. By God, was he terrified. "In the forest, you called me "Emrys"-

"Yes." Arthur ground out. It was clear that he was trying to contain himself from the way he was clenching his hands in his lap.

Merlin swallowed the lump in his throat.

"How? H-how did you know it was me-

"I saw it- I saw _you!_ "

Merlin froze.

"What?"

Arthur took a sharp intake of breath and abruptly stood out of his seat, combing a frustrated hand through his golden strands of hair.

"When I tried to get you down- when I _touched_ you- I-I felt this...this.. overwhelming strange sensation.."

Merlin tried to prop himself up without hurting himself. He was most definitely talking about the energy, but how come Arthur felt it? It made sense that it happened to him- he's the sorceror. So, why Arthur?

Arthur glared at him and grew silent, if only for a moment, before continuing. "That was when…" he took a deep breath as if preparing himself," I saw you send the dragon away. The beast that almost killed me, the knights of Med- whatever, you were there. You…" Arthur trailed off, tugging on his tufts of hair in frustration. "You were there for _everything_." He breathed. "Then I heard it. I heard the name _Emrys_ and I...I knew it was you."

"So," Merlin shyly began, "you saw visions of me?"

Arthur ignored his question and chose to study him instead. Merlin would have shifted under the inscrutable, hard gaze if he wasn't so physically and mentally drained. His temple throbbed and under the wound was his eye that experienced some strain as well.

"I thought I knew you," Arthur concluded, as upright and rigid as a sword.

"I'm still the same person."

"I trusted you."

It was a blow to his heart. His empty stomach contracted in pain.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Arthur's fierce armor cracked slightly and he slumped back into the chair and buried his face in his hands. Merlin fought the urge to apologize again. His head shot up from his hands.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He would have laughed if he could.

"How could I? You wouldn't know what to do."

"I wouldn't...I don't," he admitted.

"And I didn't want to put you in that position."

Arthur looked at him as if he couldn't fathom what he just said.

"That's what you're concerned about?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes," Merlin sad sincerely. " I know it's hard to understand, Arthur, but I _had_ to do this-

"Why?" Arthur demanded angrily.

This was it. The big reveal.

"Because we are apart of something much bigger than ourselves. You're destined to be a great King, and if I had told you about who I truly was, I couldn't protect you." He leaned in as much as his wound would let him, gazing truthfully and tearfully into Arthur's eyes. "I'm _proud_ to be your servant Arthur. I've only used magic for you."

Arthur swallowed thickly and gazed upwards. "God help me." He said breathlessly. He shifted his eyes back to Merlin, but he wasn't quite making eye contact. Merlin reckoned Arthur was staring at his bandaged temple.

"Merlin," he began, and shot out of his seat and quickly started toward the bed. Merlin flinched. Arthur immediately stopped in his tracks, lips thinned into a regrettable line, and resumed with cautionary steps, as if stepping towards a wounded animal.

He kneeled beside the bed, beside Merlin, eyes never leaving his handiwork. Arthur parted his lips, but when he couldn't find the words he was looking for, he closed them. He brought his hand towards the wound and Merlin fought to keep absolutely still. His calloused fingers ghosted above Merlin's brow, and Merlin didn't have to be a mind reader to see the sheer amount of guilt and disbelief in his eyes.

Arthur dropped his hand guiltily. "The wound needs to be redressed. "Arthur stated. "I'll be right back."

Arthur stood and exited his room. Merlin exhaled and rubbed his tired eyes, rubbing some tears away. He felt horrible, but thankful. He's finally said what he's always wanted to say to Arthur. He thought once his secret was out, he'd feel a featherweight lightness on his shoulders, but in this case, the truth was as equally a heavy burden to carry as a lie.

Arthur returned with fresh bandages.

"Where'd you get those?" Merlin asked. Arthur doesn't even know where everything is in _his_ room, let alone his and Gaius's quarters.

"Found them on the table."

 _Gaius must have left them there_ , he mused.

Arthur resumed his position beside him, hands reaching for his head. Merlin pulled away.

"Uhh, what are you doing?"

Arthur fixed him a look. "I think I know how to dress a wound, Merlin."

"Yeah, but why?"

Arthur looked down for a second before continuing with his work. "I told you, the wound needs redressing." He said simply in a _drop it_ kind of tone.

Arthur's hands were surprisingly gentle when he unwrapped his head. He heard Arthur sharply inhale when he presumably looked at his temple. Merlin gazed at the blood crusted bandages in amazement.

 _I was bleeding?_

Arthur used the cup of water on his bedside dresser to wet a cloth. He gently cupped the back of Merlin's head and slightly lifted him from his pillow.

"This will sting a bit," he warned, and pressed the damp cloth to his temple.

As soon as it made contact with his wound, Merlin tried to buck his head away, but Arthur's grip held him in place.

"Ow ow," he hissed and instinctively coiled his hand around Arthur's wrist.

"Don't be such a baby, Merlin," he lightly scoffed.

"It burns!" He exclaimed.

"I know," Arthur said guiltily while continuing to clean the side of his head. "I'm almost done, so keep still."

"I'll try." Merlin grimaced at the horrible sting.

Finally, Arthur was done cleaning the wound, and he moved onto re-bandaging his head. Merlin couldn't help but pout throughout the entire process. Arthur shushed him when he hissed again. He was tightening the bandages so they wouldn't unravel. Merlin was surprised when calloused fingers gently brushed his bangs back, and when he gazed up at Arthur, he could see his eyes were filled with sorrow and regret.

"I'm sorry."

Merlin can count on one hand how many times the Prince has apologized to him. The shock wore off quickly though, and was instead replaced with compassion.

"You've done everything for me, everything for Camelot, and-

"Arthur pleas-

" _No._ " He declared fiercely. "I've been the most ungrateful person."

"But you didn't know," Merlin protested.

"I knocked you out Merlin!" Arthur yelled. "Is that any way to repay a friend who's constantly laid down his life for you and your kingdom?"

Merlin's heart instantly warmed and his eyes brimmed with tears of joy. Arthur finally knew.

 _He doesn't hate me._

"It's alright- you just weren't thinking-

"No, I wasn't," Arthur bitterly spat. " I shouldn't have hit you."

Merlin shrugged. "I shouldn't have lied."

"You hardly had a choice in the matter."

"People always have a choice."

He took a deep breath and willed himself to calm down. He cupped the side of Merlin's neck and their eyes locked on one another.

"Thank you."

Suddenly, all the hell that Merlin had been through was worth it. Merlin nodded, and quickly wiped the tears that cascaded down his face. He laughed as Arthur smiled radiantly, joy spreading from his heart to every fiber of his being.

"Sire," a voice came from the entrance, "the King requests your presence."

Their smiles dropped momentarily at the mention of Uther.

"I'll be right there!" Arthur shouted back. He let go of Merlin and stood from the bed. "We'll talk more later. Something tells me there's much more than what I witnessed in the forest."

Merlin pursed his lips and looked down sheepishly. He had no idea.

"Get some rest."

Arthur squeezed his shoulder and smiled before heading out and shutting the door behind him. His warm touch seemed to be burned into Merlin's skin because it stayed there long after he was gone.

Merlin shouted triumphantly. It was a victorious cry, one filled with relief and joy. He smiled so widely that it hurt his face. Granted, he still had no clue what had happened in the forest, but he'll have to investigate later. Right now, he was just too damn overjoyed.

His door opened to reveal Gaius holding a bowl of freshly made stew.

"Was that Arthur I just saw leaving?" Gaius asked worriedly.

Merlin laughed. "Yeah. "

Gaius smiled. "I take it you two talked?"

"Yeah," Merlin nodded happily," we did."


End file.
